I have decided to stop for a while with my readings about the disease. I'm fed up with it. I'm tired.
I've been thinking about how I'm dealing with my life, how I'm exhausting my partner and myself. I wish I could just pretend I'm not sick.
When you are sick of something that is invisible, intangible, feels like you came up with it. Feels like it is all a great invention and the cure is just a matter of deciding not to pretend anymore.
I didn't go to work again. Two days in a roll. I feel tired, dragging myself around.
What can I do?
I talked to my mom on the phone and she described me how she feels sometime. It's just the same reactions. I need to remember that this is a disease, and this is the proof. Many people feeling the same is not a coincidence. It is not a matter of stop pretending.
My mom and my sister have been telling me about finding something to believe. I don't intend to find out if there is a god. I intend to believe in our self-suggestions, so I decided to research about meditation. On the last psychotherapy session we did a relaxation. I loved it. I makes the world stop for a second.