Metamorphosis

Everything seemed fine. The world was colorful, but now is black and white again. I have the knowledge, so I should be able to change this "bad mood". I should be able to be optimistic again. But today I feel like a fat, depressive woman. I have no energy. No will. I feel fragile like a weak stick of a sick branch. I feel fogged. There is nothing in me that is entire and certain.

Because I'm so little today, I don't have the power to strike back. I'm in slow motion, I'm a slug.

If I turn on the computer and start to work, I get hyperactive. I want to do 10 things at the same time, but a slug can only do so much.

I think about hurting me, about killing me, and a relief fulfill my emptiness. But I know I can't hurt myself.

All I can think is "I can't believe I fell for this again". And here I am. Taken apart from myself. Muddy, slimy slug.